I don’t like when people are telling me what to do. I don’t say I am a rebel, but I would have demonstrated when I lived in Egypt. I don’t like when there is a plan, when every step is already figured out. When somebody has made the plan already for the evening when I am going out with friends and he wants to stick to it, without a good back story, I am blocking, I am shutting down and you won’t enjoy my presence. Let me explain.

How having a plan can kill my evening

When I was at the groceries the other day with friends, I just ran a mile or two as an exercise. I was tired, wanted to eat with them and just have a general good evening. Then, when I said “Shall we eat potatoes with a piece of meat?” I got the answer: “No, we are eating pasta.” Not an answer like “I feel more like pasta”, no, it was just a statement. That was when I stopped shopping, I already knew I wasn’t to make the decisions that evening, clearly.

I can’t handle that, serious. When I am going out with friends and there is already a plan (ie ‘I think I will leave at 1am’) my night is already about to be ruined. I like spontaneity, I like when things are not going according to plan. I like nonconformity. When people already have a plan and are clearly devoted to staying to it, I say things like: ‘How can I have fun with you if you’ve already decided the complete evening?! How are we going t enjoy ourselves if you are looking on your watch every time to stick to the plan?!’

This is exactly the reason why I don’t like television. There is a plan! Television works with a TV guide, the evening program is already decided! I can’t handle this.

How the tv guide kills creativity

The TV guide resembles something more. It resembles conventionality. Things are already decided, according to the plan, according to ‘as it should be’.

I am thinking about starting to do video more, maybe as a weekly thing (like Video Vriday or something), but when I was thinking about this, I was also thinking about the long term (not a bigger plan, but the long term, how is this going to work out in a couple of years) and I realized that I am doing my residency in a couple of years. How am I supposed to keep shooting videos when I need to wake up at 6am just to work all day, study all day to get to sleep at 3am?

The thing is, I don’t have a role model. There aren’t any examples of medical students who are into internet marketing in the Netherlands. I don’t have anyone whom I can resemble with, who has done the same thing as I am doing. The conventional thought is that medical students just have a side-job, or none, but focusing on their career the most. And I hate this. There is a plan already. I should do the same thing as everybody else. Studying hard, passing every test, have a side-job, starting residence and becoming a doctor. This thought depresses me, there is already a plan for my life! I can only decide on the small things, the ‘tweakable’ things. The rest? Already decided. Not in counsel with me, but in counsel with conventionality.

What did I sign up for?!

As there aren’t any role models, I should become one. Things aren’t impossible, of course not. The conventionality, the plan, is killing my creativity though, as the boundries are already set. But I should work on shifting these boundries, exploring them, breaking them down.

Fortunate I like nonconformity. So let’s just do this. Let’s stop nagging, start shifting. Start exploring, start breaking down. WHO IS WITH ME!? I want to hear your stories. I want to have people with me, who are about to break down conventionality as well! I need a group of people who also want to change, want to be a role model theirselves, because they hadn’t had one. Shoot me an email. Leave a comment, anything will do! I need others to change the world, starting at ourselves. Let’s do this. I feel confident. I feel like we can do this!



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