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Whenever I go to a bar or other social gathering place in which it is typical to be approached by men, I am aghast at how terrible some guys are at hitting on girls. Freud and just about every man have wondered since the beginning of time, “What do women want?” Well I’m here to clear up some things and tell you what the deal is, if only to put an end to the seemingly unstoppable tsunami of cheesy pick-up lines and desperate attempts made by men everywhere.
- Don’t be so transparent. To me, the biggest turn off is obvious intentions. If you approach a woman with a cheesy compliment, or if you make it apparent that you are trying to hit on her, then your chances of success plummet. Trust me.
- Be interesting. Some men think that if they’ve got good looks, they don’t even have to try. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. While it is not advisable to try too hard, the best way to approach a girl is with an interesting conversation topic. Don’t come off as conceited, but don’t just stand there either.
- Listening is sexy. Once you’ve started a conversation, it is imperative that you ask a girl what she thinks, and then you actually have to listen. There’s nothing sexier than a guy who listens and responds.
- Touch, but be subtle about it. Women really like being touched. And when I say “touch”, I don’t mean “grope”. The gentle shoulder graze, or lightly tapping the girl’s knee when making a point in conversation–these are all great, indirect ways of making physical contact without being creepy about it.
- Teasing always works. Once you’ve made some headway in terms of conversation, humor is the best way to make women comfortable. Making fun of yourself and gently making fun of the girl are great flirting strategies. Girls love a guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously. Even though it may seem slightly counterintuitive, teasing a girl without insulting her is a legitimate way to become intimate with someone quickly.
- Finally, don’t try so hard. Many enterprising young men approach women with the ultimate objective of–to use the old euphemism–“scoring”. While this can be a noble goal in and of itself, putting on the goal-scoring blinders can inadvertently give you tunnel vision to such an extreme extent that you’ll end up failing. If you go in with the simple goal of having pleasant conversation, you’ll at the very least leave with a solid acquaintance, perhaps even a long-term friendship. And, who knows–if you don’t try so hard, you may just end up achieving some sort of physical gratification.
Now of course, these are just basic tips, and they aren’t meant to be read as a manifesto on approaching every single woman in existence. Successfully approaching a woman is highly contextual, so different situations will call for different strategies. These tips, however, are just general guidelines that will hopefully help you get the foot in the door. The best advice I can offer you is pretty simple–be confident, and be kind.
This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who writes on the topics of online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: blauren99[at]gmail[dot]com.
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